Imagine for a moment that you have wheels and tires, an engine, a chassis, a can of gasoline, etc., but they are all separate. Not much you can do with them. They are just parts. However, put them all together properly, and you have a vehicle that can transport you. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
The same is true when it comes to Relationship Math, but it
can work both positively and negatively. In a good relationship two people together bring out the best in each other. Together they present a powerful and positive relationship. In this case, one plus one equals more like three. They have created their own “vehicle” with which to transport their relationship to a higher level.
But the opposite is true when there are relationship problems. One plus one equals something less than two. Depending upon how bad things are will determine just how much less. They may be relatively okay by themselves, but the two people tend to bring out the worst in each other. In this example putting them together as a whole only underscores each person’s negative traits.
My wife and I were certainly known professionally individually, but many times we were just introduced as “The Yellens.” People often commented about how powerful we were together as a team. As an example, when there were adversarial school situations, parents often asked both of us to attend together even though either of us could have accomplished the same thing. Often, we were told that we were much more powerful together than either of us alone, that we created some type of mystique at the meetings.
So, remember, the relationship whole really is greater than just the sum of the individual parts of the relationship, but it can work positively or negatively. It all depends on how the two people interact with each other.
When you add up the elements of your relationship, do you come out with “three,” or do you come out with something “less than two?” For a closer, more satisfying relationship experience set your goal to bringing out the best in each other. You’ll be very happy that you took the course in Relationship Math. Shoot for an “A” in the class.
Until next time, this is Dr. Andrew telling you to “Be kind to yourself.”